help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
