I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
