Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
tell me about the fingering
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