FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize