This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
