is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
