I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just had sex on a roof
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize