Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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