that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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