im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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