Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
