do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
