We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
