He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize