just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
