I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
