It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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