We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
