I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
