nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
