i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
