so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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