the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Randomize
