So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
