Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize