Duck Duck Cougar?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
my god I love twenty year old dicks
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
