you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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