Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Hippo gnu deer
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
