she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Randomize
