He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
