Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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