There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
