If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
