Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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