When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I still have a little drunk in my system
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
