you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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