she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
