She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
