I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
