How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
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