why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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