You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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