Do you still have your period?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
