Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
