it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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