like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The Olympian is in my bed
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
