My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
