So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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