I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize