White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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