I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
