Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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