Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
