Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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