Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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