we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
