just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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